Goodbye My Lover
by Hobbit985
Summary: Another Doctor Who songfic, Jame Blunt, more shippiness for 9thRose but could be seen as 10thRose as well.


**Did I disappoint you or let you down?**

**Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?**

**'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,**

**Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.**

The Doctor knew from the moment Rose entered the TARDIS that they were the perfect match. Best friends. Soul mates. But he also knew that if and when he regenerated next it would ruin everything. Did he dare let her on the TARDIS and risk loosing it all? Of course he did. He would be glad to spend a minute with her than no time at all.

**So I took what's mine by eternal right.**

**Took your soul out into the night.**

**It may be over but it won't stop there,**

**I am here for you if you'd only care.**

So the Doctor took Rose to see the stars. Took her across the universe. Grew to love her the way she loved him. Then their love went too far and in order to save them both from the death the Doctor regenerated. She stayed with him but it wasn't the same. They didn't have the same bond and even though the Doctor pointed out on many occasion he was there for her, Rose never seemed to open up and talk about her feelings anymore.

**You touched my heart you touched my soul.**

**You changed my life and all my goals.**

**And love is blind and that I knew when,**

**My heart was blinded by you.**

The Doctor had travelled alone after the Time-War vowing never to get close to anyone or anything again for fear of the pain of loosing it. But when he found himself in the cellar of a London shop at closing time, grabbed the hand of Earth girl Rose Tyler and looked into her eyes, all those resolutions went out the window.

**I've kissed your lips and held your head.**

**Shared your dreams and shared your bed.**

**I know you well, I know your smell.**

**I've been addicted to you**.

He'd kissed her to save her life and held her gently until he felt she was near to waking. The TARDIS had always shown him what she dreamt of, allowing him to wander freely about in her dream. Sometimes when they were having a talk before bed they would end up falling asleep next to each other, happy of the warmth radiating from the other.

**Goodbye my lover.**

**Goodbye my friend.**

**You have been the one.**

**You have been the one for me.**

"_Every cell in my body's dying"_

"_Can't you do something?"_

"_Yeah! I'm doing it now. See Time-Lords have this trick. It's sort of a way of cheating death. But it means I'm going to change. You won't see me like this again. Not with this daft old mug anyway."_

He still remembers his last words. His goodbye to her.

"_Rose, you were fantastic. And you know what? So was I."_

**I am a dreamer but when I wake,**

**You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.**

**And as you move on, remember me,**

**Remember us and all we used to be **

He watched her day by day grow further away from his new self. But he didn't show the pain she was causing him. It wasn't her fault after all. But it shattered all the dreams he had of one day being with her. Being able to kiss her and look after her. He knew Rose had wanted it too, the TARDIS had seen inside her mind. Rose still remembered how the old Doctor used to be, how they were together, and each day she wanted him back more and more.

**I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.**

**I've watched you sleeping for a while.**

**I'd be the father of your child.**

**I'd spend a lifetime with you.**

**I know your fears and you know mine.**

**We've had our doubts but now we're fine,**

**And I love you; I swear that's true.**

**I cannot live without you.**

The Doctor couldn't bear it. The day Rose asked to leave was the day he died again. He loved her with all of his two hearts and he so longed to say it, but he knew that she wanted to go and telling her that would only make it harder. All his thoughts and feelings towards her would just have to dissolve, go to the same place that the memories of his family had gone.

**Goodbye my lover.**

**Goodbye my friend.**

**You have been the one.**

**You have been the one for me.**

"_Goodbye, Rose. I'll miss you."_

"_Goodbye Doctor. I'll miss you too."_

The day they had said goodbye forever had broken the Doctor's two hearts into four. When she had said goodbye, she wasn't saying goodbye to him, she was saying it to his old self. He returned to the TARDIS and remained in flight and confined to his room for days.

**And I still hold your hand in mine.**

**In mine when I'm asleep.**

**And I will bear my soul in time,**

**When I'm kneeling at your feet.**

He took her hand in his own and asked her one last time to reconsider going, even going so far as to beg on his knee's. Rose turned and looked him directly in the eye.

"Ok, I'll stay." She said a smile breaking out over her face. He stood up and hugged her, but as he did so everything dissolved around him and he found himself sat up in bed hugging the air.

**Goodbye my lover.**

**Goodbye my friend.**

**You have been the one.**

**You have been the one for me.**

He'd said goodbye so many times. He'd had thirty-two other companions before Rose so why did this goodbye hurt the most? It was all too human for him.

**I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.**

**I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.**

He had nothing else to live for without a companion. He was empty. Hollow. Alone.


End file.
